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Filed under: Fun, iPhone, Humor, Weird Wednesday

Weird Wednesday: what does an iPhone know about making love?

Welcome to a special "hump day" edition of Weird Wednesday (pun very much intended). An iPhone can do a lot of things, but can it make you better in bed? A new app called Love Vibes says it can. It works like this: Install Love Vibes on your iPhone, set the firmness of your mattress, and then, ummm, engage in activities. The app uses the iPhone's accelerometer to measure vertical and horizontal movement, and somehow manages to convert that into a score that indicates your prowess at making love.

On top of the obvious challenges of getting a partner to let you bring your iPhone to bed, it's not really clear how Love Vibes determines your score. The "duration" rating is obvious enough: how long did your session last? Stamina, variety and passion are a little more dicey. Although the science behind the app is based on surveys that indicate these are all desirable qualities, it's not clear how Love Vibes gets scores out of your accelerometer data.

I tried faking it out by moving the phone around wildly for a bit, hoping this would provide enough passion and variety to rate an impressive score. "Shaking the phone won't get you a high score," it told me. Huh. Well, what if I just move the phone rhythmically back and forth for a while as I do the exact opposite of making love - eating Doritos? SPOILER: just as in romantic encounters that don't involve an iPhone or anything Cooler Ranch flavored, rhythm is the ticket to a good review. You didn't need an app to tell you that, right?

Filed under: Fun, iPhone, Humor, Op-Ed

Breaking: iPhone users 300% more likely to Tweet after sexy parties

News just in: iPhone users are three times more likely to Tweet or Facebook their sexual antics than BlackBerry users.

I'll just put into words what you're all thinking: what a big frackin' surprise. Apple users more vapid and self-centered than other-brand gadgeteers? Say it ain't so!

In fact, stereotypical Apple users are a classic example of modern-day 'Napoleon complex' (or 'short man syndrome' as you might know it by). Their gadgets -- their white, creamy, curvy, brushed-aluminium gadgets -- are compensating for something else. In this case, a lackluster sex life: 'Yeh, totally jst gve her some juice, lol.'

Anyway, moving on, back to the news rather than what we already know. This new report from Retrevo finds that 36% of all under-35 year olds update their Facebook wall or Twitter accounts post-coitally. Perhaps unsurprisingly, men are twice as likely as women to take part in this godawful practice.

I guess we should just be grateful that the report focused on what happens after rather than during... After all, we know someone paid to have the Passion app rate their performance between the sheets.

[via CNet]

Filed under: Social Software, Humor

I Just Made Love maps global lovemaking

If you want to know where in the world geeks are getting lucky, look no further than a new site called I Just Made Love. As the site's name implies, users can place a marker anywhere on the map, showing where they just made love. Were you on a boat? That's ok, you can drop a marker in the water, too. Markers are anonymous, so there's no embarrassment involved (but no bragging, either.)

Where I Just Made Love gets a little less Safe For Work is in the details you enter. Sure, you're not putting in your name, but you can record whether you were indoors or outdoors, and select one or more positions you found yourself in during your escapades. You can see these details for any marker on the map by clicking on it.

The most obvious complaint about I Just Made Love is the lack of personal accounts: geeks love data, and there has to be a market for a service that would let you track your own ... activities ... over time. On the other hand, anonymity for all users means that more people are likely to enter new data points, making the site more interesting to browse.

Filed under: Internet

Stop! Check that snack on Calorie Lab first

Chicago style hot dogIn case you are trying to tighten your belt literally and not just by saving money Calorie Lab might be the place for you. It is a database of calories for common restaurant and prepared foods.

While it does not have calorie counts for common foods like an apple, 4 ounces of chicken breast, etc. it does have information on Big Macs, Krispy Kremes, and Cokes -- all of which regularly show up around my office unfortunately.

It's a good place to visit before you go out to lunch if you want to get an idea of how many calories you'll need to work off later. You can also look up how many calories some everyday activities burn and compare that to foods with equivalent calories.

I learned, for example, that 30 minutes of moderate sexual activity burns up the calories contained in a hot dog with pickle relish. Of course, it takes 2 hours to burn off a medium-sized slice of italian bread. You can also read the very funny article on the variations in calories burned for certain sexual activities.

You can also read the newest results in the "How Fat is your State" ranking. I guess this would be a good time to get up and do a few laps around your cube or something.

Filed under: Weekend Review

Download Squad Week in Review

Too busy campaigning in South Carolina to read Download Squad this week? We understand. Running for President is tough. Don't worry though, we've got you covered. Tell one of your aides to hold all your calls and take a few to catch up on what's happening around your favorite Squad.


Mozilla's 10th Birthday - We baked a cake!

Ten years ago this week, Netscape announced that they'd open source the code to the in-development version of the next Netscape browser. That announcement eventually led to the founding of the Mozilla foundation, and the birth of our favorite browser, Firefox. We got so excited we enlisted the help of Slashfood blogger and pro-pastry chef Shayna Glick to bake a cake fitting of the occasion. What we ended up with was almost to beautiful to eat.

Find missing files with ease, under Linux.

Our lovable Linux Librarian, Kristin Shoemaker, checks in with another installment of her Linux Switcher series. This time, Kristin gives us the 411 on how to quickly locate those pesky files we just knew we saved, somewhere.

Five Smart Sex Podasts

Amber Rhea checked in to drop some science on us about a few pro-sex podcasts which manage to assume you have a brain in addition to a few other organs. This is part of her newly launched, ongoing series dealing with sex and the internet. Warning, these columns acknowledge the existence of sex, and even go so far as to suggest it might be a good idea.. if that offends you, skip ahead.

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The World's Hardest Game 2.0 - Time Waster

So, just how good at time waster games are you? Think you've got the stuff? Well, The World's Hardest Game 2.0 doesn't think you do. Yes, amazingly, it's possible to have a sequel to a game called "The World's Hardest Game". It doesn't seem logically possible, since if the first one was actually the world's hardest, how could another one come along and share the moniker? It made me doubt the name in the first place. That is, until I tried the game. The mechanics of the game are very simple. You are a small red square, ...

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