Been so busy trying to decide whether or not to drop out of the presidential race that you haven't had time to keep up on the week's technology news? Worry not dear reader, we've got you covered. Here are some of our favorite articles from the past week.

Download Squad does April Fools

In case you didn't notice, we had a few articles on April 1st that were a bit... factually challenged. We had a great time writing these stories and we hope you enjoyed them. For the record, here's a roundup of the stories that weren't entirely true. But we're holding out hope that some of them could still happen one day:

• ICANN has Cheezburger: .lol domains available by 2009
• Something Rotten With Apple
• AOL acquires new properties
• Microsoft unveils new Developer Fitness program
• Download Squad moving to Planet of Internet

Working through out SXSW interview backlog

SXSW may have been last month, but we managed to catch up with so many awesome folks that we're still working through our backlog of interview videos. Here are some of the latest:

• Download Squad talks Data Portability at SXSW
• Being "radool" with Gary Vaynerchuk
• SXSWi 2008: Freshbooks

ICANN says the most popular .lol domains will be sold to the highest bidders in an auction later this year. Some of the addresses that could bring in the most money are cats.lol, epic.lol, and thatswhatshesaid.lol. An anonymous group of forum posters from a well-known site -- our source would only say that it ends in "-chan" -- is looking for investors to buy up the most hotly-contested new domain of all: first.lol.

Not everyone is so thrilled about the launch of this experiment, though. Citizens of the Sovereign Island of Lolliput have been begging ICANN for years to assign the .lol domain to their country. This would have allowed them to compete with their better-known neighbors, the island state of Niue, who have already cashed in on the popular .nu suffix.

We couldn't get in touch with Cheezburger and Tofuburger, proprietors of the ultra-famous website ICanHasCheezburger.com (it's cats with captions!) for a comment on this story. However, a spokeskitteh for the site did say that preparations for the move to .lol were going well. He told Download Squad: "Downtiem: we duz not spect much of it."

What's really cool is you can reverse the process as well - a nice touch especially for your aging grandparents - like a face lift without the surgery. Dodo is a great tool to have in your editing arsenal and since it's web based, you can have it with you anywhere you go.

You can sign up for an Aviary account at http://a.viary.com. Be sure to log in, then log out and log in again to activate the Dodo tool.

Some people claim to be addicted to their Apple products. Turns out it might be true. Everyone always assumed that Apple gear (iPods, Macs, iPhones, etc) have sold well because they are well built and user friendly, but a recent police investigation has determined that they are actually infused with small amounts of LSD, that the user absorbs slowly through their skin, creating a sense of wonder and euphoria.

One of the first to get suspicious that something might be rotten with Apple was legendary music producer Quincy Jones. Jones, one of the world's foremost music experts, found that a song was always better when heard through his iPod than when he listened through his top of the line, outrageously expensive stereo system. "I thought maybe it was the experience of wearing headphones, isolating me from the world that made the music more incredible" says Jones. "Turns out it was because I was high as a kite." At his urging, a research team from Columbia University began testing Apple products and found the drugs were present in almost every item Apple sells -- the only notable exception, the Apple TV, which still sells poorly no matter how high the consumer base.

Scientists say that the amount of LSD absorbed through the skin is not enough to harm a human being, though it has been shown to be fatal in laboratory mice. The dose is just strong enough to make the user relaxed and happy, explaining why people become so attached to their Macs and iPods. Researchers also say this might explain the pretentiousness and strange superiority complex that almost all Mac users seem to have, though they say further study is needed to be sure.

-- Editors note. This story was edited on a Mac. Dude. Pretty colors.

Download Squad's parent company AOL announced the acquisition of several small companies this week:

Originally intending to sue for copyright infringement, AOL decided to instead purchase the rights to AIM for Lindsay Lohan, a forked AOL instant messenger app designed by fans of the popular but troubled star. ALL was conceived by three Michigan teens who say they cobbled the program together in an effort to raise money to "help Lindsay buy a day at the spa so she can, you know, relax."

AOL also purchased Yore Aviary, an online genealogy service for African Grey Parrot owners hoping to trace their bird's ancestry. Though there are currently only 16 registered members, they make regular treks to the jungles of Africa in an ongoing effort to footprint each bird for posterity. The group made news recently when a fistfight erupted between members arguing over what type of crackers to serve at its monthly meetings.

AOL also acquired Silicon Valley startup Basar Technologies, which specializes in direct mail via USB key. According to an AOL spokesperson, future plans for Basar include bi-weekly mailings of thumb drives preloaded with AOL 9.0 to every household in America. Additional free distribution of the keys are planned via 11 other channels, including free with gasoline purchase and attached to the neck of every 20 oz. Coke product.

AOL president Ron Grant could not be reached for comment, however his office issued a brief statement saying, "ALL Yore Basar belong to us."

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is renowned for his developer evangelism, and is well known in the tech community for his rousing, if presumably fruity-smelling, cheerleading on stage. Clearly, the active lifestyle maintained at conferences is something that Microsoft wants to instill in all developers, leading to their latest online offering: 'Active-Build Live Developer Workouts Beta'.

According to Microsoft, "when we looked away from the Windows Vista team, we realised that most developers spend a serious amount of time in front of their computers, y'know, coding. To aid our developers further, we've launched Active-Build Live Developer Workouts Beta with a whole series of fitness videos from Steve Ballmer himself".

The service, included with every MSDN subscription, takes the form of a YouTube-esque player, a desktop client that prompts developers to take a break, as well as links to the Zune Marketplace to download videos for on-the-go use.

Sources at Microsoft say that distribution talks are 'ongoing' with a number of other providers to further the reach of the series, and that in a moment of post-workout delusion Ballmer attempted to negotiate with Apple for an iTunes release. Senior executives at Apple, speaking on condition of anonymity, are reportedly clueless on how to proceeed: "The iTunes intern who brought up the idea, along with [Apple CEO] Steve Jobs, are both currently under sedation after an internal meeting. It would appear that the videos fell somewhat below [Jobs'] 'impeccable taste threshold' and until Steve is fit to return to work and fire the intern, we're not sure how to proceed on any projects, internal or otherwise."

As usual, Apple PR declined to comment on 'market speculation', however recent rumours indicate that John Hodgman will appear once again at the start of Apple's Worldwide Developer Conference keynote in an OK-GO-inspired Mac/PC 'Treadmill' Advert.

Today is the day many people will tie their friend's shoelaces together, pull the chair out from under an unsuspecting coworker, or tell their boss that they are quitting to work on American Idol audition songs.

If you prefer pranks of the technical nature however, check out these suggestions:

Screw with Firefox - download/install the Total Confusion Combo pack on the victim's computer to wreak havoc on their Firefox installation. The pack of Firefox extensions will (at various times through the day) go two links back instead of one link forward, Rick Roll 2% of videos watched, change the user's Gmail inbox to display "666" messages, add "sigh" and "lol" to the end of sentences, and remove letters from text links. Thankfully though, the extensions will only be effective today (even if the victim doesn't uninstall them). [Via Lifehacker]

Regular Download Squad readers will remember that we reported last month on a revolutionary browsing platform that will completely change the way you use the web. That's right: Planet of Internet! Our initial review was almost entirely negative, but after a wild party at the Download Squad offices last weekend, we have seen the light. You heard it here first, people: Planet of Internet is going to be the next big thing.

If you have any money at all, you should probably just give it to Planet of Internet right now. That's what we're doing! Weblogs Inc. and AOL have been good to us, but Planet offers things that no collective of popular, credible blogs could ever give us. Eat your heart out, Engadget: have you SEEN our new house in Peacetown?

We're confident that our faithful minions readers are going to love the new site as much as we will. Now you can find out about the latest and greatest software while exploring the glorious 16-bit hallways of our new digs! Well, metaphorically, anyway. Houses on Planet of Internet don't actually have interiors. Regardless, you're all invited for fruity tropical drinks at our new rooftop pool. We'll even put in a little 16-bit umbrella, just to show how much we care.