Welcome to a special "hump day" edition of Weird Wednesday (pun very much intended). An iPhone can do a lot of things, but can it make you better in bed? A new app called Love Vibes says it can. It works like this: Install Love Vibes on your iPhone, set the firmness of your mattress, and then, ummm, engage in activities. The app uses the iPhone's accelerometer to measure vertical and horizontal movement, and somehow manages to convert that into a score that indicates your prowess at making love.

On top of the obvious challenges of getting a partner to let you bring your iPhone to bed, it's not really clear how Love Vibes determines your score. The "duration" rating is obvious enough: how long did your session last? Stamina, variety and passion are a little more dicey. Although the science behind the app is based on surveys that indicate these are all desirable qualities, it's not clear how Love Vibes gets scores out of your accelerometer data.

I tried faking it out by moving the phone around wildly for a bit, hoping this would provide enough passion and variety to rate an impressive score. "Shaking the phone won't get you a high score," it told me. Huh. Well, what if I just move the phone rhythmically back and forth for a while as I do the exact opposite of making love - eating Doritos? SPOILER: just as in romantic encounters that don't involve an iPhone or anything Cooler Ranch flavored, rhythm is the ticket to a good review. You didn't need an app to tell you that, right?