Filed under: Fun, Apple, Commercial, iPhone, Humor
Passion - an iPhone app that rates your abilities in bed
You know what the world needs? The world needs an iPhone app that rates its users' abilities in bed. Well, okay -- you're right. The world probably definitely does not need that. But needed or not, Passion (iTunes link) is an iPhone app that is foisting itself upon the world.
The idea behind Passion is that you run the program before getting intimate with someone, and you either somehow wear the phone or at least keep it on the bed with you as you, well, you know. The phone will then sense movement, listen to the volume of the, erm, proceedings, and apparently use "many other" of the iPhone's "unique features" to generate a rating, sorry, an "accurate score" for your performance, which you can then compare against the other people using the app.
Okay, there are more than a couple things wrong with this concept. First of all, chances are if you're someone who is willing to wear your iPhone during sex, rating your performance is the least of your worries in that department. The idea that the rankings Passion generates will be of any use whatsoever is laughable; 90% of the "performances" or whatever the app chooses to call them will most likely be made by immature giggling teenagers violently shaking their phones while screaming at the tops of their lungs.
The funniest thing about Passion is the price. At $5US, this ridiculous and silly application is actually likely to make Chris Alvares, its creator, some real coin. Chris has created a silly toy that will appeal to a certain population with laser-like accuracy.
So, just how good at time waster games are you? Think you've got the stuff? Well, The World's Hardest Game 2.0 doesn't think you do.
Yes, amazingly, it's possible to have a sequel to a game called "The World's Hardest Game". It doesn't seem logically possible, since if the first one was actually the world's hardest, how could another one come along and share the moniker? It made me doubt the name in the first place. That is, until I tried the game.
The mechanics of the game are very simple. You are a small red square, ...
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Anthony said 4:23PM on 7-29-2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
"The idea that the rankings Passion generates will be of any use whatsoever is laughable; 90% of the "performances" or whatever the app chooses to call them will most likely be made by immature giggling teenagers violently shaking their phones while screaming at the tops of their lungs."
That made my day.
Reply
Franklin said 5:10PM on 7-29-2009
and the truly useful apps, like those by Google, get turned away, while junk like this thrives in the app store.
Reply
Molly said 5:08PM on 7-29-2009
and i thought THIS was a joke :)
http://wallstreetjackass.typepad.com/raptureready/2009/07/the-future-of-dating.html
Reply
Molly said 6:47PM on 7-29-2009
true enough. it's not even funny anymore how Apple is playing the people for dumb.
if only the folks at downloadsquad.com had the guts to ignore this disgusting company and their appalling products.
Reply
Niels van Dijk said 4:39AM on 7-30-2009
Iphone starts to look like Jamba (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamba!)
When I read the title of the article I thought you had to slap your dick against the touchscreen or something.
Reply