Filed under: Fugly Friday
Fugly Friday - The Solutions Network
Imagine a site so jumbled with affiliate links, so riddled with primary colors, so overbearing in its use of tables -- filling every last inch of visible space with something you could click on, NOW! -- that any pretense of goodwill towards your fellow man you've ever held evaporates like so much dew from the top layer of a landfill in the morning sun.
It's a trainwreck of html, a prank played entirely in font tags. It simply must be.
The only thing the designer failed to use is BLINK. I'm going to guess that failure was either an intentional oversight -- one tiny concession to good taste in a sea of disgust -- or that he was so overwhelmed by the site himself that he fell dead at the keyboard before adding that one last cardinal sin of bad web design.
But wait, there's more. Immediately after your browser loads the last site you'll ever want to visit, a voice comes booming from your speakers, proclaiming that you've reached "the busiest site on the internet!" The irony is nearly enough to kill a man.
The cherry on top? Even the favicon is animated. I'm not even sure how you'd go about animating a favicon. You know why I'm not sure? Because, even without seeing an example of an animated favicon, my brain attempts to suck my own eyeballs deep within the recesses of my skull upon the very mention -- a physiological response I can only imagine was developed through generations of evolutionary genius as a last-ditch defense mechanism to prevent serious brain damage from spreading among the population.
If The Solutions Network is your personal key to making money on the internets, I highly reccomend that you begin scouting for a sturdy cardboard box in which to live at your earliest opportunity.
[Thanks Andrew for the tip. My shrink will be sending you the bill for my next 3 visits]
With Halloween fast approaching, it's a great time to get in some practice defending your territory against zombies. In Graveyard Shift, you take aim at zombies and other creepy-crawlies, blasting them into splatters of cartoony green guts. It's a casual first-person shooter, and it's very easy to get the hang of - use the mouse to aim, click to fire. Graveyard Shift has at least 15 levels, and it might even have some secret stages I haven't unlocked yet.
They key to getting good at Graveyard Shift is learning to use ...
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Iriverconvert said 7:22AM on 7-03-2009
Don't forget the injudicious use of that most hated of common fonts, Comic Sans.
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Dave Forster said 8:16AM on 7-03-2009
top right... "This site is brought to you by Bruce Castro"
he must be very proud of it ... poor fella!
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Martin-T said 9:53AM on 7-03-2009
His mother must be so proud too!
Webber said 11:28AM on 7-03-2009
At least they didn't use Papyrus, or even worse, alternate each letter between Comic Sans and Papyrus and make the whole thing blink!
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Doug H said 1:58PM on 7-03-2009
What I find interesting is that someone would take their time write about such a site...and, at least to some extent encourage others to waste their time. Think how much more beneficial his writing talent would be if it were spent on an equally advanced/progressive/new/enlightening website.
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NyaR said 2:15PM on 7-03-2009
STOP SMOKING MAKE MONEY WITH E-CIGARETTES!
shoot me
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Chris Maxwell-Gaines said 6:16PM on 7-03-2009
The ironic part of the website is the text, "THIS BUSINESS IS THE ESSENCE OF SIMPLICITY" which is about half way down in the center of the page (yeah, I know it may be hard to find).
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Nathan Anderson said 11:59PM on 7-04-2009
You know, if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, it's not so bad... he ran out of stuff to cram in the center column.
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