Filed under: Fun, Internet, Security, Ask DLS
What Conficker headlines do you want to read tomorrow?
Sophos Labs' Graham Clulely authored a blog post today asking users for the best Conficker headline they've read. Pretty much all the major antivirus providers have announced that 1) most users are safe because the required Windows patch has been available since October via Windows Update and 2) there's a good chance nothing at all will happen tomorrow.
Since it's April 1st, though, let's have a little fun with this one. Here are a few I'd like to see. Submit yours in the comments!
Conficker turns into the world's biggest RickRoll
Hey, it goes off on April 1, so why couldn't it be a colossal prank? The original is kind of tired, though, so maybe Conficker might opt for something more like Interior Crocodile Alligator - which isn't at all horrible, so you should definitely click the link.
Conficker wipes out Incredimail installs
Sure, this might be considered bad because it's removing something a user chose to install on their system, but come on - Incredimail is an awful piece of software, and no technician in his or her right mind would be sad if a customer phoned saying "I got a virus and now that butler guy that brings me my emails is gone!"
Conficker kicks in, forces torrenters to seed after 100%
Maybe the author has some altruistic motives. Maybe he's tired of waiting three days for a seed to come back online so he can finish a torrent because other users keep dropping out as soon as they hit 100%. You're only getting that file because other people are sharing it, so do you part and chip in!
Microsoft admits releasing Conficker to ferret out unlicensed XP installs
If Windows Update has had the patch for months, then who might be the largest group of people that haven't applied it yet? Why, people who are running non-genuine copies of Windows XP, of course! There's no telling what lengths Microsoft might go to in order to get you to buy a real license. Hey, anything is possible. Grab your tin foil hat!
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They key to getting good at Graveyard Shift is learning to use ...
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
dmcallis said 3:59PM on 3-31-2009
Conficker enables world's largest tweetup. Every keystroke worldwide now twittered
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tl said 4:01PM on 3-31-2009
Got someone that habitually sends out annoying email forwards every second of the day? Conficker blocks email abusers by disabling the forwarding of forwarded messages!
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Kenn.keeper said 4:10PM on 3-31-2009
Conflicker creater sentenced to jail and will be known there as Con-Flicker......
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Deadpan said 4:23PM on 3-31-2009
I was totally going to suggest a rickrolling. In fact, I have 3:1 odds on it.
I'm hoping someone 'pranks' the phone trunk at work, we're gonna get drowned in conficker calls.
Interior Crocodile Alligator, I drive a Chevrolet Movie Theatre!
Or... I kissed a Girl. That'd be hilarious.
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Duke said 4:36PM on 3-31-2009
Conficker causes millions of PC's to convert "XP Antivirus 2008" into an actual working anti-virus program.
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Slashee the Cow said 8:22PM on 3-31-2009
Yahoo runs out of storage space; Conficker becomes Conflickr and starts using your computer for other people's photos.
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Viper_Bravo said 10:11PM on 3-31-2009
CONFLICKER IS SKYNET, Judgement day April 1, 2009
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tpp said 8:32PM on 3-31-2009
Conficker bug exposes the people behind several large botnets. 150 people arrested. If convicted, each face 200 years in prison.
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dbogart1 said 9:24PM on 3-31-2009
Never met a virus that couldn't be cured. For most people, it's the only time they get rid of the rest of them.
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deepikaur said 11:35PM on 3-31-2009
Conficker: Government's Way of Diverting Your Attention From Your Upcoming Layoff
or
Conficker: Government's Way of Diverting Your Attention From an Even Bigger Crisis
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Liam K said 12:08AM on 4-01-2009
Conficker DDoS's every major website. Internet ceases to exist.
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maf teechr said 2:05AM on 4-01-2009
INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR, I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE THEATER
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whiskey said 1:08PM on 4-01-2009
Conficker: the AFD joke that got every one to update their Windows OSes and their Antivirus Softwares
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dwsuccess2 said 10:46PM on 4-01-2009
Conflicker causes vista to operate like xp
or conflicker governments waqy of taking your mind off of the upcoming tax hikes
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aallsmith said 7:21AM on 4-03-2009
Do you really crae about these viruses? Well atleast I don't. I have
tech guys of IT24BY7 with me. These folks are awesome they solve the
crictical virus or windows problems within minutes.
Today, they have announced to support Conflicker affected computers:
http://www.prlog.org/10210357-it24by7-has-launched-support-for-conficker-worm-affected-computers.html
http://it24by7.com/confickerworm.aspx
These guys are simple awesome, I trust them and I recommend their
computer service to everyone.
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