The internal Microsoft sales video you wish you hadn't seen

Most large companies do it, and it's never very good. Secreted away in some production studio, they pour ridiculous amounts of money into it, and end up disappointed with the result.
What are we talking about? Internal motivational videos.
It's probably not all that surprising that if ever there was going to be a worst-of-breed internal motivational sales video, it would come from software juggernaut, Microsoft.
If you so dare, click through to treat your eyes to this incredibly bad Bruce Springsteen rip-off, courtesy of Microsoft, and enjoy Bruce ServicePack and the Vista Street Band playing Our Ecosystem Rocks.
Just don't say we didn't warn you.
[Via David Chartier]
So, just how good at time waster games are you? Think you've got the stuff? Well, The World's Hardest Game 2.0 doesn't think you do.
Yes, amazingly, it's possible to have a sequel to a game called "The World's Hardest Game". It doesn't seem logically possible, since if the first one was actually the world's hardest, how could another one come along and share the moniker? It made me doubt the name in the first place. That is, until I tried the game.
The mechanics of the game are very simple. You are a small red square, ...

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Edsel said 8:18AM on 4-17-2008
Apple should make this video available in iTunes.
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dsfsdds said 8:41AM on 4-17-2008
It's doubtlessly bad. But there is much worse. Let me just give you this link: http://resources.zdnet.co.uk/articles/features/0,1000002000,2122409-2,00.htm
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Todd said 9:45AM on 4-17-2008
It's official: Microsoft has jumped the shark and is no longer relevant. Somebody needs to update the Wikipedia entry.
Didn't Schlitz beer run some disastrous ad back in the 70's with something like "Take me beer away", and the company closed soon after?
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alex summer said 9:59AM on 4-17-2008
omg .. I think I'm gonna barf. .. for real
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Nihir said 10:04AM on 4-17-2008
umm...go back and check the source. It's a spoof...done on purpose, but that seems to be lost in every article in order to bash MS some more.
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phizm said 10:04AM on 4-17-2008
OMG im gonna be sick!
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kingkool68 said 10:17AM on 4-17-2008
Sorry this video is the pits -> http://www.russellheimlich.com/blog/who-needs-a-movie-or-eye-catching-graphics/
Microsoft should hire them next to make the next promo video!
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Decemb3r said 10:43AM on 4-17-2008
The girl in the front row is so getting laid!
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keidalgrim said 11:44AM on 4-17-2008
Who's at the helm, here? It's not rocket science DownloadSquad people, it's a spoof. Good Lord.
Credibility anyone?
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Todd said 12:38PM on 4-17-2008
No, post leak claims of it being a spoof are just the Spin Doctors damage control. Kevin Turner, Microsoft’s Chief Operating Officer is in it. If it was intentionally self-deprecating why does it make fun of Consumers and not Microsoft upper management?
I think all the controversy just comes from the shocking realization of just how lost Microsoft is. Thier hostile take over of Yahoo ( rather than just internally develop great products ), this video, the whole corruption of the ISO - all symptoms of the last days of a former power house. No one wants to see Old Yeller get shot at the end of the movie, and we all leave the theater crying, but he was rabid and mad, and had to be put down.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0050798/
Jason Clarke said 12:27PM on 4-17-2008
While I've seen a number of second-hand reports that this is a spoof, I've yet to find a credible source for that claim. I'll be happy to update the post if someone can point me to one.
The definition of "spoof" is also up for debate. Yes, I believe this video was done as a spoof of Bruce Springsteen. But I also believe it was intended as a sales motivator. Yes, I'm sure Microsoft's staff is in on the joke, but that doesn't make it any less of an affront to my eyes and ears.
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Mike said 1:18PM on 4-17-2008
Seems real to me... It's genuinely about convincing enterprises to adopt Vista, would be an odd topic for a video lampooning MS itself. Plus, something meant to be a spoof would probably have a better Boss impersonator.
Either way, though... I had to watch like 8 actual springsteen videos to purge it from my head.
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keidalgrim said 1:46PM on 4-17-2008
Must your readers do your job for you? Apple fanbois crack me up. How about this for your credibility, due diligence, journalistic integrity file:
http://www.news.com/8301-10787_3-9920713-60.html?part=rss&subj=news&tag=2547-1_3-0-20
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Jason Clarke said 1:51PM on 4-17-2008
So the actual quote is: "This video was a spoof (believe it or not)."
Okay... Not.
keidalgrim said 1:58PM on 4-17-2008
Well, be that as it may, Mr. Clark, you'd be well-served (and would indeed be doing your readers a real service in kind) to check out and report the facts.
You know...there's offensive and then there's offensive. Take your pick; with your post today, we got both -- and you got pwnd.
Jason Clarke said 2:06PM on 4-17-2008
While I'm a fan of Apple hardware, I also used to be the lead blogger of Weblogs Inc.'s now-defunct The Unofficial Microsoft Weblog. It's easy to think that anyone that criticizes Microsoft must be an "Apple fanboi", but before calling someone names, maybe do some due diligence of your own?
I'm sorry that you're so upset about this. Personally, I'm not concerned about my journalistic integrity. It's a stupid video (regardless of why or how it came into existence), and I pointed to it in what I felt was an entertaining way.
Getting someone affiliated with the production to give a quote like "This video was a spoof (believe it or not)" sure doesn't knock my journalistic socks off. I don't mean any disrespect to the reporter - my hat's off to them for taking the time to make a few phone calls. But seriously... about this pile of rubbish? And why bother using a quote that basically acknowledges that nobody will believe it?
Hard-hitting journalism, that. If that's what you're looking for, well, to each their own.
Glad you enjoy Download Squad enough to keep coming back!
Quikboy said 11:19PM on 4-17-2008
@Jason Clarke : What ever did happen to that blog? I saw it a few times, but I guess the entries weren't too interesting.
Why'd you quit?
Jason Clarke said 6:37PM on 4-18-2008
@Quikboy : We rolled our Microsoft coverage into Download Squad. At the time the people that were blogging for TUMW were also blogging for Download Squad, and it seemed like often MS related posts were ending up on Download Squad instead of TUMW anyway.
We actually rolled a lot of smaller sites into Download Squad around the same time.
Chuck said 8:42AM on 4-21-2008
As much money as they are about to waste buying Yahoo, they should have just paid Springsteen to do the video for them.
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