It's hard to know where to start when trying to describe the new free email client 3D Mailbox. Even after finding ourselves slack-jawed at the website and the video of this software in action, we still wanted to reserve final judgment until we'd actually had a chance to get under the hood and check it out for ourselves. Although we were never able to actually get the software to work, despite trying it on four different PCs, it's probably just as well because what little time we did spend with 3D Mailbox had us reaching for our antacids faster than you can say, "Who thought this up?"Apparently, the intention of this little gem of a client is to make reading email more fun. Frankly, most of us just want to see our inboxes empty once in a while. We were willing, though, to go along with the premise that checking email could be something to look forward to these days. Unfortunately, 3D Mailbox makes peering into your inbox a truly frightening adventure.
First, picture Second Life. Got it? Next picture a drunken frat party gone awry. Now, in your mind's eye, merge the two. That gives you a rough approximation of what to expect from the visual interface of 3D Mailbox. Each piece of incoming mail is invited into a world designed to resemble a beach. Before being processed, each email is transformed into an animated human figure dressed in a string bikini or swim trunks.
Next, the anthropomorphized email steps up to meet the "bouncer" positioned at the entrance of this private beach, a burly guy who "checks IDs" to see if the mail is spam. Once cleared, the person-mail stops in the shower room to rinse off (seriously -- we couldn't make this stuff up), then hops up on the diving board and executes a perfect swan dive into the swimming pool, also known as the inbox.
All your people-mail swims around, to and fro, until you get a chance to read it. Teenage boys will like this feature since the girl-mail does the backstroke while waiting for you. Once an email is read, it hops up on a lounge chair (where the girls inexplicably have donned high heels to match their bikinis) until they're deleted or moved to another mailbox to keep. Once moved to a permanent folder, they will roam about the "cabana," drinking and mingling with the other mail. We don't want to know what they do when you turn off the computer.
We'll give 3D Mailbox credit for the clever way it deals with spam. That heads directly to the ocean where it is unceremoniously eaten by sharks. Sadly, that small bit of hilarity is offset once you notice that the "good" mail is depicted by animations designed to look like overly-implanted supermodels and the "bad" mail is represented by great big flabby guys with bizarre tattoos. We just love it when our email client perpetuates obnoxious stereotypes, don't you ?
Downloading the software was a very simple process, but installing it was another matter. It's awfully persnickety and demands that your PC have DirectX 9 and that your video card have Vertex Shader and Pixel Shader. If you aren't sure if your computer can accommodate these requirements, there's a handy system checker on the download page you can use to find out. As previously pointed out, despite repeated attempts, we weren't able to actually get this software to run which, in retrospect, was probably a blessing in disguise.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
7-19-2007 @ 6:22PM
Robert Savage said...
Hey Lisa,
Thanks for the mention.
Sounds like your PC's aren't multimedia or meant for gaming. All multimedia PCs for the past few years ship with video cards that support pixel and vertex shaders. Otherwise you'd have some pretty unhappy gamers out there :)
At current prices, you can get such a computer for about $700 from Dell, so it's definitely not out of the range of most consumers.
Contact me via our website if you'd like me to walk you through an install; I'd be happy to.
Your article's title actually doesn't reflect the content of the article itself, which isn't harsh, but I guess a negative title attracts more attention.
Robert Savage
Postmaster General
3D Mailbox
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7-19-2007 @ 8:03PM
Lisa Hoover said...
Hi Robert,
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. We tried installing this on four different machines, one of which was a spankin' new multi-media machine that runs Vista -- and all its idiosyncrasies -- with no problem. Furthermore, since most of us have been tech geeks since the cradle, we're pretty familiar with how to get things up and running, so we aren't easily stymied.
As for the title of my post, it actually does reflect the content of the post which, unfortunately, paints a less than flattering picture of your product.
I'd love a chance to talk to you further about 3D Mailbox and also give you a chance to share your thoughts on the product with our readers. If you'd like to contact me to arrange an interview, please do.
Thanks,
Lisa
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7-19-2007 @ 8:33PM
jgordon said...
Hey! I'm an idiot and I've been searching for an email solution that fits my fast-paced, moron lifestyle! I think I've found a match! Hooray! Now what I'd really like is a way to pay my bills with cat caption forum pictures. I can has cheeseburger?
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7-20-2007 @ 2:13AM
Robert Savage said...
Hi Lisa,
I'd like to talk, sure. I don't know how to contact you directly, so please write me via our contact form: http://www.3dmailbox.com/subs/contactus.php
Re-reading your post, it appears that your biggest objection boils down to the following:
(Quote)"good" mail is depicted by animations designed to look like overly-implanted supermodels and the "bad" mail is represented by great big flabby guys with bizarre tattoos. We just love it when our email client perpetuates obnoxious stereotypes, don't you'(Quote)
The chest size on the models is B to C, for the record. They are fully clad. And there is nothing degrading or misogynistic in their depiction. The body types were modeled directly from such mainstream publications as Vogue and Elle. You may not like supermodels, but they are hardly obnoxious stereotypes. I happen to be married to one, and she's a complete, compassionate human being.
The spam character is modeled on a Sumo wrestler. The 'bizarre tattoos' say: "SPAM" (obvious), "Hate", "Love", and "Sloth".
The politically-correct posturing that has been unleashed on this product is better reserved for the truly offensive. That said, I find the female envy sort of quaint, and the buzz it's all generating absolutely delightful.
Thanks for the chance to engage.
Robert
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7-20-2007 @ 6:01AM
Lisa Hoover said...
Sounds great, Robert. I'll be in touch today.
~ Lisa
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7-20-2007 @ 8:25AM
S.K. said...
Hmm ... Perhaps Robert and Lisa should be characters in this 3D Mailbox. That ... could be interesting.
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7-21-2007 @ 3:47PM
J.T Dabbagian said...
@Robert
I think what Lisa's getting at is how only the hot people get to go in the pool, and the fat people get fed to the sharks. So basically, all fat guys are spam, and rejects. You're basically promoting some seriously bad stereotypes, not to mention discriminating on the basis of weight.
Oh, and Vogue and Elle models tend to be photoshopped, and unrealistic, so YES, you are promoting stereotypes.
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7-23-2007 @ 2:34PM
Robert Savage said...
@ J. T.
The first level is a send-up of the James Bond movie, Goldfinger (the first scene in Goldfinger, set at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami, was replicated in 3D Mailbox). The "Bond Girls" are there as a campy parody of the whole Bond Girl phenomenon. Of course the beautiful people get to hang poolside! It's not perpetuating a stereotype, it's satiric of the stereotypes themselves.
Odd Job, the evil henchman from the same film, was used as the basis for the evil spam character. Odd Job has put on a few pounds since the 60s, but then again, that can be said for most of us.
To resent the beautiful people's perfect bodies, especially when they are represented as cartoons, says more about us than about them.
To interpret the spam avatar is a "fat person" who deserves only to be eaten by sharks is both absurdism, and a misreprentation of our intentions.
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7-23-2007 @ 6:39PM
Robert Savage said...
@ J.T Dabbagian
Good one ;-)
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7-23-2007 @ 10:12PM
Ryan Carter said...
Hey Robert, here is a thought, maybe you should hire a PR guy, or at least someone with whom you should check before speaking, you are not helping yourself or your um supermodel wife out very much. Shutting up would be the intelligent thing to do, really.
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7-24-2007 @ 6:50AM
Mark Nibbles said...
From a quick look at the 3D Mailbox website I've learned that there are different "Levels" but don't get excited as it looks as though it’s going for bad to worse! Two of a proposed ten are currently complete. Level 2 is based on LAX and incoming mail is represented as a 747 branded as the national carrier of the mail's country of origin.
Why dose a mail box have levels, how dose the user progress, what volumes of mail is it designed to handle (I mean dose the pool get congested?), how is spam represented in the second level and why did we go from bikini clad models to jumbo jets?
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7-26-2007 @ 10:30PM
S. Armstrong said...
The only way I see this possibly getting a decent following of any kind is if people are allowed to import their own 3D content from well known programs such as Poser, DAZ Studio, Carrara, 3D Studio, Lightwave etcetra...
Oh and that Watermark needs to be scaled down to Dialup acceptable sizes for cryin' out loud! That was an instant turnoff!
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